I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
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