i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
