your room smells of hookers.
And success
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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