How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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