Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
