Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
