so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
