the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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