i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
