come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
