I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize