maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
