let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
