just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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