did you get engaged???
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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