U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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