Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
