Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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