Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
