You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize