this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize