is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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