New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
