I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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