It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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