you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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