There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i need some magic done to my vagina
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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