break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
