Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
