Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
