He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think my moral compass just broke
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
