Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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