I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
