That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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