you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
