I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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