do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
