Betty ford says i'm here all night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
