lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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