I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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