it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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