...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
