she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
