It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
