I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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