My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
