I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
