How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His hands were made for my vagina.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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