He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
