Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
