.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
