And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
