I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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