getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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