Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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