I want to have your abortion
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize