Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
