I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
