Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
