Only a mothe r could love this liver
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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