I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
