bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
