if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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