it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
