Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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